One of the most frustrating issues in any doctors practice is compliance. We all brush our teeth extra well, floss twice and use mouthwash days leading up to a dental exam. I will even be sure to lose a few pounds before my weigh in at the ob/gyn. But when a doctor prescribes a medication for my health and well-being; I take it. I am most frustrated with my glaucoma patients. Its a disease that can end in devastating blindness. Its a serious ocular disease. Yet, a ridiculously slow progressing one. And more importantly, one that's usually more than easily treated with only a regimine of drops. Remember when I had you make fists and try to look through the holes in your curled fingers? That's the bad outcome. Now couldn't you manage to put in an eyedrop to prevent it?
Some of these drops are contraindicated due to other disease like asthma and COPD or chronic inflammation like iritis. Sometimes its a juggle as to what to prescribe. So when a patient comes in on max meds despite his asthma, I get really annoyed when his eye pressure hasn't budged. This guy is a complete flake and on first examination tried to explain that he smoked more than enough marijuana to not have glaucoma. Sorry sir, even if you smoked 24/7 you would barely lower IOP by 1 points. So are his drops not working or is he simply not taking them? I'm with HOUSE in believing more than not, patients lie. So after explaining for the 10th time how important his drops are, he left and fingers crossed he takes them as directed!
I'm not sure how this segways, but I watched a movie last night and in it one kid brings up the 'hopeful monster' theory. A hypothesis by Richard Goldschmidt about large malformations in genetics leading to large shifts in evolution. A macro to darwins microevolution. An instataneous speciation, saltatation, or systemic mutation that proves beneficial and is therfore passed on in theory creating a new creature. Whether or not this is a plausable theory is debatable. But I really like its title - a hopeful monster. It makes me think that maybe for all my flaws (and there are a lot) I can be hopeful that they keep me going in this crazy world.
Ill try to floss every day instead of every other. I will take my meds on time and finally make the appt for a full physical that is long overdue. But more importantly, I'm going to be a hopeful monster - because it can only get better from now on.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
RIP Cat
Mark this day as a momentous occasion! I was kind and just towards a feline! On my way home after a long day I get over the bridge - almost home!- and just as I round America's Cup Way a car stops short in front of me and puts on their hazards. I look down at the street and put my hazards on too. I get out of my car and look at the girl in front of me and say what do we do? A cat was apparently hit by a car in front of her and kept going. It was in the middle of the road and still moving. She called the police and we waited for 30 minutes for them to arrive. Within the first 2 minutes the cat stopped breathing. Luckily some guy stopped and grabbed the cat and brought it to the owners house. He was a neighbor and knew whose cat it was. I actually felt kinda bad. Just because I hate cats doesnt mean I want them all to die; and tragically at that!
So maybe Im a little more of a grown up.... haha just kidding - but RIP random cat... Im sure someone loved you (although I dont quite understand why)
So maybe Im a little more of a grown up.... haha just kidding - but RIP random cat... Im sure someone loved you (although I dont quite understand why)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
27 and going on 12
So the weeks have passed and it’s been pretty fun. Work is either more hectic than the inside of a circus tent or so slow I’m able to read a novel in only a couple days. I’ve been trying to boost my social life by going out to dinner and for drinks, but mostly I’ve spent quite a bit of time at the 25 yr olds house. Its been all in good fun, nothing serious. It’s not that he isn’t someone I would be interested in, but for all his good qualities there is the constant reminder he is 25. I am not saying age matters, but for every intelligent conversation, well cooked meal, there is a comment that reminds me, you are just twenty five.
I’ve led a pretty privileged life and never been found wanting. Or if I was, I worked my ass off to get it anyway. I am lucky, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of heartache. By the time I graduated optometry school I had already been to more funerals than my grandmother. My senior year of high school was the start when I lost a good friends sister. I remember the moment I realized how mortal we all are. Instead of spending senior year drinking tequila (although there was a fair share of that in previous years) and making poor decisions, I knew they now had consequences. But I still hadn’t grown up.
I dated in college. Broke up. Had a roommate steal a boy then proceed to go SWF and get a perm and start dressing like me. All rough, but not world shaking. Optometry school I met and fell madly in love with a boy that was already spoken for. I’ve mentioned him before as the roommate of my original crush. I spent almost every waking minute with him. Partially because he was really smart and I thought studying with him would help my grades (unfortunately for me, the only semester of straight A’s came just after we had called it quits) We practiced eyeball skills in preclinic and rewarded ourselves with a couple beers and a game of darts every Monday. To tell you the truth; I’m not sure when he ever dated his girlfriend. This is the worst – even on Valentine’s Day he came to my place and not hers. I felt guilty the entire time, but my adoration for him outweighed most of it. Like any stupid girl, I thought I could win. Needless to say, a year later and about 7 martinis, I lost it and ended it in order to save myself. I spent that next week with my bag of chips and TV remote. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but at the end of that week everything changed.
I had my birthday, went off on rotations, had a fling, then met the boy that would more recently bruise my ego (not quite break my heart). But more importantly, I grew up.
So having a fling with this 25 year old, though fun, was light and not supposed to mean a thing. No, don’t worry, I am not going to say I fell for him. I really don’t think I could if I tried. He is so 25 he might be 12 sometimes. But this weekend we all went out and who joined us, but another optometry girl. One in his class. One that is apparently with him. I had no idea. I went from being 27 and loving my slightly messy life, to being that other girl again.
The book I read at work this week was The Elegance of the Hedgehog – and most definitely made it to my top five. And to quote ‘ Well, that hurt, yes, it hurt. I may know the world is an ugly place, I still don’t want to see it’. Im not twenty-five anymore. Im a grown-up. That hurt doesn’t change though, just because Im old enough to have known better.
I’ve led a pretty privileged life and never been found wanting. Or if I was, I worked my ass off to get it anyway. I am lucky, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of heartache. By the time I graduated optometry school I had already been to more funerals than my grandmother. My senior year of high school was the start when I lost a good friends sister. I remember the moment I realized how mortal we all are. Instead of spending senior year drinking tequila (although there was a fair share of that in previous years) and making poor decisions, I knew they now had consequences. But I still hadn’t grown up.
I dated in college. Broke up. Had a roommate steal a boy then proceed to go SWF and get a perm and start dressing like me. All rough, but not world shaking. Optometry school I met and fell madly in love with a boy that was already spoken for. I’ve mentioned him before as the roommate of my original crush. I spent almost every waking minute with him. Partially because he was really smart and I thought studying with him would help my grades (unfortunately for me, the only semester of straight A’s came just after we had called it quits) We practiced eyeball skills in preclinic and rewarded ourselves with a couple beers and a game of darts every Monday. To tell you the truth; I’m not sure when he ever dated his girlfriend. This is the worst – even on Valentine’s Day he came to my place and not hers. I felt guilty the entire time, but my adoration for him outweighed most of it. Like any stupid girl, I thought I could win. Needless to say, a year later and about 7 martinis, I lost it and ended it in order to save myself. I spent that next week with my bag of chips and TV remote. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but at the end of that week everything changed.
I had my birthday, went off on rotations, had a fling, then met the boy that would more recently bruise my ego (not quite break my heart). But more importantly, I grew up.
So having a fling with this 25 year old, though fun, was light and not supposed to mean a thing. No, don’t worry, I am not going to say I fell for him. I really don’t think I could if I tried. He is so 25 he might be 12 sometimes. But this weekend we all went out and who joined us, but another optometry girl. One in his class. One that is apparently with him. I had no idea. I went from being 27 and loving my slightly messy life, to being that other girl again.
The book I read at work this week was The Elegance of the Hedgehog – and most definitely made it to my top five. And to quote ‘ Well, that hurt, yes, it hurt. I may know the world is an ugly place, I still don’t want to see it’. Im not twenty-five anymore. Im a grown-up. That hurt doesn’t change though, just because Im old enough to have known better.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Orange you glad I didnt say "WTF are you doing eating cotton?!"
I believe I am getting sick, as my nose seems to be stuck on leak... Like a faucet not quite turned far enough to the off position. My back aches a bit and my cheeks are flushed, just a bit.
I decided to pummel my body with superfoods to boost my immune system - help me, help myself! After cups of tea with local honey, some pumpkin soup, and spinach salad, I decided to head to the store for some oranges. My body was craving vitamin C. I got out of my car and walked up to the door and a very large gentleman of questionable character stepped in front of me. He had a hat on and I noticed part of a stop and shop apron coming out of his bag. As we got closer to the door his right hand reached out of his pocket, an empty fifth of smirnoff vodka in hand, and thre it out. This man had clearly been drinking before work and unfortunately as the bottle hit the edge of the trash can he turned and saw me watching him. I walked in to the store and headed for the oranges, much to my demise he stood right in front of the ones I wanted. He struck up a conversation with a fellow employee and giggled ( most likely about the fact that he would be bagging groceries completely hammered) I stepped forward and he saw me, gave me a look and I walked away. I grabbed a plastic bag and filled it with four of the lame oranges closer to me and ran to the checkout line hoping not to be beaten.
Today, after a drive in the snow on my way to work, I settled in and saw a few patients- most of which were snarky, but I refrained from hitting. Around 11 I got a little hungry and sat down at my desk to peel the orange I had brought. I could barely get my fingernails in and through the skin to rip a piece off. It was like poorly glued wallpaper that you peel and comes off in minuature strips... Needless to say it took 20 min to peel this orange and another ten to get it to open into slices... I bit into it and although a mild sweetness, it was mostly bitter... Second bite there were seeds...
And at this point I was brewing. That damn alcoholic has ruined my life...
I get paged and walk into the room. I barely opened the door to see a rather portly girl of roughly 15 leaning down into the box of q-tips, grabbing a handlful and putting them in her mouth. I introduce myself and take a breath to compose my thoughts. She sits down, qtip sticking out the corner like a a cowboy with a toothpick. I put the phoropter in front of her face - to check her Rx and to give myself a moment to laugh silently but with facial expressions. The rest of her exam went fine. I decided not to embarrass her and bring up the qtip stealing-eating situation. Perhaps she has pica and felt the subconscious need for more fiber. Anyways, I was amused and it broke the orange funk. I'm going to stop at trader joes on the way home and pick up some organic oranges, and ill be damned if I run into someone doing lines of coke in the bread aisle or shots amongst the deli meat!
I decided to pummel my body with superfoods to boost my immune system - help me, help myself! After cups of tea with local honey, some pumpkin soup, and spinach salad, I decided to head to the store for some oranges. My body was craving vitamin C. I got out of my car and walked up to the door and a very large gentleman of questionable character stepped in front of me. He had a hat on and I noticed part of a stop and shop apron coming out of his bag. As we got closer to the door his right hand reached out of his pocket, an empty fifth of smirnoff vodka in hand, and thre it out. This man had clearly been drinking before work and unfortunately as the bottle hit the edge of the trash can he turned and saw me watching him. I walked in to the store and headed for the oranges, much to my demise he stood right in front of the ones I wanted. He struck up a conversation with a fellow employee and giggled ( most likely about the fact that he would be bagging groceries completely hammered) I stepped forward and he saw me, gave me a look and I walked away. I grabbed a plastic bag and filled it with four of the lame oranges closer to me and ran to the checkout line hoping not to be beaten.
Today, after a drive in the snow on my way to work, I settled in and saw a few patients- most of which were snarky, but I refrained from hitting. Around 11 I got a little hungry and sat down at my desk to peel the orange I had brought. I could barely get my fingernails in and through the skin to rip a piece off. It was like poorly glued wallpaper that you peel and comes off in minuature strips... Needless to say it took 20 min to peel this orange and another ten to get it to open into slices... I bit into it and although a mild sweetness, it was mostly bitter... Second bite there were seeds...
And at this point I was brewing. That damn alcoholic has ruined my life...
I get paged and walk into the room. I barely opened the door to see a rather portly girl of roughly 15 leaning down into the box of q-tips, grabbing a handlful and putting them in her mouth. I introduce myself and take a breath to compose my thoughts. She sits down, qtip sticking out the corner like a a cowboy with a toothpick. I put the phoropter in front of her face - to check her Rx and to give myself a moment to laugh silently but with facial expressions. The rest of her exam went fine. I decided not to embarrass her and bring up the qtip stealing-eating situation. Perhaps she has pica and felt the subconscious need for more fiber. Anyways, I was amused and it broke the orange funk. I'm going to stop at trader joes on the way home and pick up some organic oranges, and ill be damned if I run into someone doing lines of coke in the bread aisle or shots amongst the deli meat!
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