So the weeks have passed and it’s been pretty fun. Work is either more hectic than the inside of a circus tent or so slow I’m able to read a novel in only a couple days. I’ve been trying to boost my social life by going out to dinner and for drinks, but mostly I’ve spent quite a bit of time at the 25 yr olds house. Its been all in good fun, nothing serious. It’s not that he isn’t someone I would be interested in, but for all his good qualities there is the constant reminder he is 25. I am not saying age matters, but for every intelligent conversation, well cooked meal, there is a comment that reminds me, you are just twenty five.
I’ve led a pretty privileged life and never been found wanting. Or if I was, I worked my ass off to get it anyway. I am lucky, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of heartache. By the time I graduated optometry school I had already been to more funerals than my grandmother. My senior year of high school was the start when I lost a good friends sister. I remember the moment I realized how mortal we all are. Instead of spending senior year drinking tequila (although there was a fair share of that in previous years) and making poor decisions, I knew they now had consequences. But I still hadn’t grown up.
I dated in college. Broke up. Had a roommate steal a boy then proceed to go SWF and get a perm and start dressing like me. All rough, but not world shaking. Optometry school I met and fell madly in love with a boy that was already spoken for. I’ve mentioned him before as the roommate of my original crush. I spent almost every waking minute with him. Partially because he was really smart and I thought studying with him would help my grades (unfortunately for me, the only semester of straight A’s came just after we had called it quits) We practiced eyeball skills in preclinic and rewarded ourselves with a couple beers and a game of darts every Monday. To tell you the truth; I’m not sure when he ever dated his girlfriend. This is the worst – even on Valentine’s Day he came to my place and not hers. I felt guilty the entire time, but my adoration for him outweighed most of it. Like any stupid girl, I thought I could win. Needless to say, a year later and about 7 martinis, I lost it and ended it in order to save myself. I spent that next week with my bag of chips and TV remote. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but at the end of that week everything changed.
I had my birthday, went off on rotations, had a fling, then met the boy that would more recently bruise my ego (not quite break my heart). But more importantly, I grew up.
So having a fling with this 25 year old, though fun, was light and not supposed to mean a thing. No, don’t worry, I am not going to say I fell for him. I really don’t think I could if I tried. He is so 25 he might be 12 sometimes. But this weekend we all went out and who joined us, but another optometry girl. One in his class. One that is apparently with him. I had no idea. I went from being 27 and loving my slightly messy life, to being that other girl again.
The book I read at work this week was The Elegance of the Hedgehog – and most definitely made it to my top five. And to quote ‘ Well, that hurt, yes, it hurt. I may know the world is an ugly place, I still don’t want to see it’. Im not twenty-five anymore. Im a grown-up. That hurt doesn’t change though, just because Im old enough to have known better.
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