New but not scary

I'd like to say I'm a shy person. However, my friend Amanda once pointed out in laughter, that it was a pretty poor adjective to describe myself, as I would easily talk to anyone. I guess I'm not shy, but just because I cooly, calmly strike up a conversation with a new person, doesn't mean I'm not frantically trying to listen to what they say and think of the next thing to say. Sometimes I'm on, and sometimes I'm very very off. It's the inconsistency that has me normally nervous in new situations.

A patient came in the other day and noted blurred vision. When i was checking his prescription all of a sudden he say a, from behind the phoropter, ooh there is goes again, not I see double. That word brings panic worse than if you told me id need to put on spandex and be caged in with wrestling alligators... Not that anyone has ever threatened me with such a thing... Anyway, diplopia or double vision makes my stomach churn. I pull the phoroptor away and do a quick cover test, i get a rather large exophoria ( meaning his eyes are turned out a little more than average, but nothing too crazy) I check parks three step looking for a paralyzed ocular muscle. I got nothing. I put him back in the phoropter and check the ranges he can move his eyes in and out and all comes back normal. Ugh, my brain is moving a mile a minute and I've cast my reel into those great depths of knowledge, but really I'm just fishing for anything. Its probably a decompensating photos. He notes this don't happen all the time, but when he is driving long periods of time or reading for hours. Great. You know what worse than double vision? Intermittent diplopia.

So I leave work that Saturday, stomach churning, but I've forgotten about the double vision at this point, I'm making my way through the city to a tiny sushi place for a date. Ugh, first encounters make me so nervous. I like knowing what I'm getting into. I'm constantly afraid that the conversation will come to a standstill. Long pauses are the real world Diplopia's. I show up first, take a seat and hope for the best, scrolling through the NY times on my blackberry in wait. He shows up and a kiss on the cheek,half hug heists down. We order too much sushi, for which i later feel really bad, since I don't think he really likes it very much. But despite my nerves, things go well, and two hours later i realize its been perfectly fine maintaining conversation. Maybe I'm really not shy.

I hop in my car and head to a friends for the rest of the day, since we have an engagement party of friends to go to that night. I won't really know anyone there either, so I'll have to put my game face back on in a couple hours, but I think i've gained the confidence that i will make it. As far as my patient is concerned, I cant fix occasional double vision it with prisms and glasses because the times he is normal everything would be double in the other direction. I'm bringing him back for a more extensive binocular workup. As far as the date? Well, I guess I'd go out with him again too...