So a few months ago a young woman came into my office... Naturally this was 5 pm on a Friday. She had a significant decrease in vision in her right eye and was seeing floaters. She described this as a 3D blob of blood. Naturally I was excited for the sci-fi aspect of this case. I dilated and waited with breath baited. Sure enough her left eye was beautiful, flat and intact retina. The right eye was something else. There were five boat hemes. We call them boats because the blood leaks out in pockets and due to gravity levels off inferior making tiny little sailboats... Of course this is completely not natural and I rushed her to the ER.
We all know I have a penchant for sailors... Im not sure if it's the fact that they generally wear collared shirts, have a tan, and are charming republicans... But I'm hooked. Match has been decent to me lately, not really too many funny stories.... I started dating a boy who I will call john1... He was tall, dark, and cute (not quite handsome). He was nice, we had a good time chatting when out. I was attracted to him, but in general there wasn't much there. I was never excited to hang out with him. I actually didn't even give up gym time to make a date... Needless to say one day while sitting on the cliff walk reading a book, I decided I was much happier there than rushing home for dinner with John 1 so I ended it... I had been waiting out for John 2, another guy on Match. He was older, very cute, had a good job, was a sailor. He had a similar background to me... I wanted to see what was up... So I waited and waited and finally we went out. I had a great time, I felt like we clicked instantly. In the mean time I started reading a wonderful and wonderfully depressing book " Marry Him: the case for settling for Mr. good enough" it basically chronicles a 40 something woman's struggle with trying to find a mate. Although I am no where near forty, I thought there might be some advice to head. So we all grow up wanting prince charming. Our lists of male qualities usually include, attractive, smart, witty, stable, fun, adventurous... It's Eric, Phillip, Adam, John smith... The Disney prince characters . However, as the book quite sullenly points out - who wants to actually walk around in a glass slipper? For the 21st century working woman, wouldn't you prefer a more comfortable shoe?
My patient returned, no word from the hospital, mild resolution of the hemmorhaging in the back of her eye. I followed up with her several times, called the hospital angrily multiple times... They were getting no where and I had to admit I had no idea of the cause myself. I was angry and frustrated. The boat Hermes turned yellowish white with old blood that failed to resorb. She had a vitritis in there too that caused pain and I did my best to alleviate it...
So I went on a second date with John2 .. Again, I had a great time. He was so... Charming.... He is a great kisser and we left it with we hoped to see more of each other. That was five days ago. I think this boat may have sailed as well. It was only two dates, so I can't be upset, however, I feel a little bit like that old yellowed coagulated blood of a former boat heme... I wanted to wear that glass slipper anyway.
I Ill keep following that patient in hopes to find a cause and possible treatment for her rare condition.however, I'm back in real slippers, the soft comfy kind... I'm finishing up that depressive and realistic book. It reminds us all that men usually end up fat and bald, so why be so judgmental now?
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