My mother is an elementary school teacher. She was a great mother, but firm in discipline. I imagine she is the same in the classroom. She generally gushes about the kids she has in class. But over the years, she has used on occasion a key phrase that I love to say " DUMB AS ROCKS" I mentioned this phrase once to my residency director and she fell in love with it. Unfortunatley, when you are in the business of seeing lots of different people each day, you come across a lot that fall into this category. I am not saying most people lack intelligence. I just think people let things slide sometimes. My sister is one of the smartest people I have ever met... but every now and then she says something that makes her appear to have an IQ far below 70. It happens to all of us...
The day started out fairly steady, but by 10am I was on a pretty fast pace. I was seeing a patient every 15 minutes, which is fine, but its a lot of people to see at once. This isnt a problem when the exams are routine. For the most part they were that day. Only a few real oc disease cases which I LOVE. Side note - medicine is described as an art not a science. This is completely true. A lot of people complain about doctors visits and tests - but they are usually necessary if not to figure out what is going wrong, save to rule out what isnt. I like to think being a doctor is like constantly playing the game of clue. You have to ask a lot of questions, go through a lot of scenarios in your head, run a gamet of tests, then roll the dice and hope to get Miss Scarlet in the conservatory with the rope.
Back to my point... people are dumb... So one thing that really really bugs me is when people come in saying they cant see.
I know what your thinking. Let me get this straight. I mean when they come in and say (in some form or the other) " I cant see well without my glasses on" or " I could see without glasses before I came in to see you". Really? Well, if I look at the records you came in seeing 20/60... if youve read previous posts you know this isnt the best. You need 20/40 alone in the better seeing eye to have a drivers license (dont worry, if you are only 20/200 in the better seeing eye in the state of Oregon - your hunting license is free!)I checked your vision. Stuck you behind a funny looking pair of giant glasses called a phoropter. I changed lenses asking you which was better about a million times. I hated my life every second. But guess what, I got your 20/20 baby. So now you cant see without your glasses? Well guess what - you didnt know what seeing really was until I gave you them. So, Im sorry. I know you dont see quite as well without your glasses anymore. Im sorry I took away your ability to get run over by a bus without knowing what hit you. Here are your glasses, now get out of my chair.
As for the guy with asymetric diabetic retinopathy - Im going to send you out for a carotid duplex and hopefully reduce your chance of a stroke by 50% because yes, as an eye doc- Im that good...Same for you lady with a central retinal vein occlusion... and you who has had recurrent iritis - Im glad you can finally be treated for the sarcoidosis your primary care doctor failed to diagnose... and you young girl, recently gained weight with swollen optic nerves - get the MRI and spinal tap because your brain is swelling despite your PCP diagnosing you with migraines....
So, we arent all perfect... least not me.. but think before you speak or else you are faited to be dumb as rocks.
and a little ps: If you dont like what I have to say - please stop reading... no really, Id rather you didn't anyway.
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