Temple Grandin

Its never been a controversy about whether or not I am able to make people feel. Although many would argue that after knowing me they may know anger, hurt or shame. More seriously, they know honesty. I dont really have the ability to keep my feelings to myself. I know for those whom I might not like, most might find this difficult. But, Id like to think for those whom I really do adore, they know their adoration.
I just finished watching Temple Grandin. A movie staring Claire Danes about the life of a high functioning autistic woman who changed the face of cattle care in the 70s. Autism is a spectrum pathology. I hate to call it a disease, as that has such a poor connotation. Perhaps she was Asbergers which is considered one of the highest functioning. Although lacking in social graces, one functions well especially in high concrete areas such as math, engineering and sciences. When I was younger I worked at a gymnastics gym (my first on the books job) and taught a special needs class with a couple friends. The students were fun and rambunctious. More importantly they required controlled stimulation. One student who was a very adorable and gregarious young boy could not sit still. But, if one of my older colleagues brought in her calculus book, he could solve any problem. If you asked his age he could calculate to the second and on the spot. It was strange to see such a large dicotomy between the ability to live in a "normal" life and yet have so many special talents.
Even before this job, as a 6th grader, I was given the opportunity to work with our Pre-K. I had a student who was an adorable young girl. She wore a helment, but more importantly a big smile. She was fun to play with before school, but on one bad day she bit me and ran through the school and was removed from extra curricular activities. Then I was given a little boy. He was young and he was sweet. You could tell the flourescent lights bothered him. And although he was nearing 4 1/5 he had no speech. He could do puzzles tan cardboard backside up. He never made eye contact, but he could paint the most beautiful pictures. He took a lot of time and care and with time we worked up a report. When I graduated sixth grade I was awarded a plague. On it read " For teaching D___ how to love". I still think of that plaque all the time. I think in all of us there is a little bit of "un-normalcy" I think I can reach people that might not want to be touched. I think I have the ability to get in just enough.
From another movie (very far from the orignal point) I quote " I am not very good at anything. But I am good at getting men to want me. Not date me or marry me, but want me. Im good at that.... and cheering - I was good at cheering" (Sunshine Cleaning) In my own personal life I think Im good at talking people off the edge. I think Im one of those good people to talk to when things in their own life arent so great. But in the end they always go back to their own lives... to their own girlfriends. Maybe I crave a little bit of normalcy myself. I think I have a lot to learn of love, if not for my own teaching.